MY MORNING ROUTINE (now since I'm 'retired')...
For years I made an appearance at the local coffee shop to first obtain some liquid caffeine and then hear what the 'friends' and neighbors at the 'farmers table' had to say. I learned over 18 months ago that like the warning given at the end of stock marketing advertising on tv that says "...past behavior is certainly NO indicator of future trends..." or even 'trust'. In short, someone I trusted wasn't worthy of it or even my friendship as they used information I gave in confidence for the advantage of their business partners.
To deny that this betrayal has affected my viewpoint and beliefs would be a lie. It has. I've found the easiest way to deal with it is to avoid the local coffee shop altogether. The side benefit is I honestly feel my blood pressure is way down and life in general is a lot easier. (The people you surround yourself with REALLY do affect your quality of life!)
I say all this because yesterday I was in the local post office and the fellow ahead of me, who is a 'nice' sort of guy and apparently harmless, asked me where I had been and he missed seeing me and visiting with me at coffee. My first response was simply, "Well, you're not missing much." But he wasn't satisfied with that, so I explained I simply don't have time to sit amongst people I no longer trust. That took him back and ended any further inquiries. (My wife has always had a problem with my ability to to be brusque and rude.)
The situation gets even more complicated when you add into the equation my 'retirement' and the question on every one's lips, "Who is going to rent the James Family Farms?" (Believe me,WHO is going to rent a recently 'retired' farmer's ground IS a big deal in farming communities. I will explain a little more in a minute.)
Now, I like to get my coffee over at the Mickey Dee's next to the interstate. The amazing thing is the people who work there note my presence and they are genuinely glad to see me. Yesterday, I got another free coffee. The conversation is even funny sometimes.
While McDonald's has done much to corrupt and damage America's knowledge of good cuisine, it remains a good spot for the morning because they have free WiFi and decent coffee. Since I've got this new 'puter, I've become quite knowledgeable on the spots that do and those that don't have WiFi. I was in one place the other day for lunch (down in the regional metro-complex) and I asked if they had WiFi?
"Are you kidding me? This place is so backward, our connection to corporate is a land line using Dial-Up!" was the response I got. So much for that place.
Now I search for places with WiFi because I enjoy this connection. Supposedly my blueberry phone is a 'smart' phone, but it's internet connection speed makes dial-up look speedy. That's the main reason why I love this new 'puter. It's fast and allows me to post this while I'm away from the office.
As for the 'retirement' and the farm ground question, a big difficulty is you soon learn that as a landowner of tillable farm ground many tend to view you as a 'Sweepstakes' and they feel entitled to the 'prize' of farming your acres. Obviously, that kind of attitude doesn't cut a lot of grass with me and what we are discussing here is the root cause of the betrayal I spoke of earlier.
Right now, there is money in grain farming and everyone, I mean EVERYONE, wants their piece of pie.....including your neighbors and 'friends'. My response, which comes naturally by the way, is I don't trust anyone.
I make an exception for Family because, like it or not, we're stuck with each other. Additionally, unlike your acquaintances most everyone of us know every intimate detail about our families, even our distant relatives because most of the female family members make sure everyone is aware of how so-and-so screwed up his freshman year at college, or how he came home from that great job out-of-state with absolutely no money in his pocket. Yep, there are no secrets among family members and that means to me you can usually trust 'em, because in this instance past behavior and weaknesses IS a good indicator of future behavior. You already know before-hand where their train will jump the tracks and I'm good with that.
As for the others, I'm already starting to see who my 'friends' really were and who was just trying to polish the apple in order to get the chance to expand their own operations.
GREED is so basic to the human condition you can always count on it to make an appearance at some point in time, even when all you want to do is have a cup of coffee....
All The Best,
Frank W. James
To deny that this betrayal has affected my viewpoint and beliefs would be a lie. It has. I've found the easiest way to deal with it is to avoid the local coffee shop altogether. The side benefit is I honestly feel my blood pressure is way down and life in general is a lot easier. (The people you surround yourself with REALLY do affect your quality of life!)
I say all this because yesterday I was in the local post office and the fellow ahead of me, who is a 'nice' sort of guy and apparently harmless, asked me where I had been and he missed seeing me and visiting with me at coffee. My first response was simply, "Well, you're not missing much." But he wasn't satisfied with that, so I explained I simply don't have time to sit amongst people I no longer trust. That took him back and ended any further inquiries. (My wife has always had a problem with my ability to to be brusque and rude.)
The situation gets even more complicated when you add into the equation my 'retirement' and the question on every one's lips, "Who is going to rent the James Family Farms?" (Believe me,WHO is going to rent a recently 'retired' farmer's ground IS a big deal in farming communities. I will explain a little more in a minute.)
Now, I like to get my coffee over at the Mickey Dee's next to the interstate. The amazing thing is the people who work there note my presence and they are genuinely glad to see me. Yesterday, I got another free coffee. The conversation is even funny sometimes.
While McDonald's has done much to corrupt and damage America's knowledge of good cuisine, it remains a good spot for the morning because they have free WiFi and decent coffee. Since I've got this new 'puter, I've become quite knowledgeable on the spots that do and those that don't have WiFi. I was in one place the other day for lunch (down in the regional metro-complex) and I asked if they had WiFi?
"Are you kidding me? This place is so backward, our connection to corporate is a land line using Dial-Up!" was the response I got. So much for that place.
Now I search for places with WiFi because I enjoy this connection. Supposedly my blueberry phone is a 'smart' phone, but it's internet connection speed makes dial-up look speedy. That's the main reason why I love this new 'puter. It's fast and allows me to post this while I'm away from the office.
As for the 'retirement' and the farm ground question, a big difficulty is you soon learn that as a landowner of tillable farm ground many tend to view you as a 'Sweepstakes' and they feel entitled to the 'prize' of farming your acres. Obviously, that kind of attitude doesn't cut a lot of grass with me and what we are discussing here is the root cause of the betrayal I spoke of earlier.
Right now, there is money in grain farming and everyone, I mean EVERYONE, wants their piece of pie.....including your neighbors and 'friends'. My response, which comes naturally by the way, is I don't trust anyone.
I make an exception for Family because, like it or not, we're stuck with each other. Additionally, unlike your acquaintances most everyone of us know every intimate detail about our families, even our distant relatives because most of the female family members make sure everyone is aware of how so-and-so screwed up his freshman year at college, or how he came home from that great job out-of-state with absolutely no money in his pocket. Yep, there are no secrets among family members and that means to me you can usually trust 'em, because in this instance past behavior and weaknesses IS a good indicator of future behavior. You already know before-hand where their train will jump the tracks and I'm good with that.
As for the others, I'm already starting to see who my 'friends' really were and who was just trying to polish the apple in order to get the chance to expand their own operations.
GREED is so basic to the human condition you can always count on it to make an appearance at some point in time, even when all you want to do is have a cup of coffee....
All The Best,
Frank W. James
Labels: Cash Rent, Community, Family, Farming, Mental Health, Personal Philsophy, Unorganized Stupidity
12 Comments:
One of the more important lessons I learned in life was that just because farmers stop and talk to you doesn't mean they like you or want to be your friend. It just means that they really like to talk.
I have a hard time with that concept still. It kind of hurt my feelings and causes me to avoid people.
But, i guess I don't need to tell you that...
First, McDonald's has surprisingly good coffee if it's a fresh pot. Consumer Reports top-rated McD's coffee a few years ago, and since then I've not been disappointed. Burgers, no; coffee, yes.
Second, I've learned that you don't owe anyone more than you owe them. That means basic politeness, compassion, and the truth. If they can't handle all three of those things, it's their problem, not yours.
Third, it's your life, not theirs, and until they start paying for everything you're still running it. Be honest with everyone - including yourself - and do what you think best.
Frank: My Mother died last December and the place passed wholly to me. Ill tell you right now that no matter where you go , its all the same . I did hold off on making a choice long enough to make the renter she had dammed uncomfortable and he was more than willing to make some crop changes i wanted in order to hang onto the ground . This however did kick off the musical chairs of offers for the lease . Some were a bit better deal than what he had been doing , but over all he did mom a good job , and I just felt it moral to give him first chance if he wanted it under my conditions . Now if word will just get out so some folks will quit being nice and go back to the way they were I'll be happy .
@ Farm Dad,
Put up a sign at the gate, "Sorry, farm is leased for 2012."
@ Frank,
Maybe you could make up a button, "Vote for Frank", and ask everyone that mentions the words "farm" or "ground", "Can I count on your support for . . ", just fill in whichever office seems likely, or unlikely, as the case might be. The downside is that you might pick up enough contributions (hoping to least the ground, without actually saying they expect to least the ground) that you end up running for Indiana governor, or state or federal legislature. But Indiana could do worse.
And, in conversation, perhaps use the mealy-mouth word "disappointed" instead of betrayed or distrust or greed.
That, or tell everyone that asks, that you are considering letting the 4H use the ground. Or that some folks in Waco, TX, want to move north with their womenfolk, and the discussions are very promising.
Blessed be!
Brad K: You DO have a wicked sense of humor and I like it...
All The Best,
Frank W. James
Great post Frank. All the reasons why I never started going to the coffee shop and why when I do I sit by myself and not at the "1000 acre table".
I am considered by some at that table to be a snob because I will not come every morning and gossip. What they dont know is that several at that table call me within hours of leaving the establishment to tell me what everyone else said! Funny, none of the stories match!
I get a lot of work done in the two or three hours they all waste there, save at least $10 a day by not going and have a much better outlook on life then they do trying to keep up with everybody.
I did a little test two years ago when I told a buddy that I was considering quitting farming. Within two hours one of the "high rollers" called to ask me about renting my farm. I told him I wasn't quitting and he acted shocked because he "heard it at the coffee shop". I told him not to believe gossip.....we speak very infrequently now!
+1 on Homer's comment... and yeah Mickey D's is not bad for either wireless or coffee :-) I do know some McDs that are now getting the old farts in the morning cause they are tired of the BS at the coffee shops...
G Kelly: I owe you an apology. Yesterday while I was clearing my inbox of emails your comment got deleted. It was unintentional. Just a typical screw-up from this technology challenged old-fart. Sorry...
All The Best,
Frank W. James
There are always hard feelings when some old farmer passes on and his ground gets handed out. There just isn't enough for everyone who thinks they deserve it.
Plus, I think many of those who'll cut your throat are the same ones who announce at harvest time that their yields were ten or more bushels to the acre more than yours, or their piece of new equipment was obtained tens of thousands less than everyone elses, or whatever.
One of the funnier stories involved a farmer who was always inching over on his neighbors' ground and claiming it was his. This guy had a well dug on the edge of "his" property, and his neighbor decided that was the time for a survey. The neighbor had grown tired of arguing with the guy over the years, and when he saw the well being dug, he just kept his mouth shut. Ended up with a new well, too.
I go to Burger King for my wifi. I sold my farm to a developer, plus the timber on the place I live, as well. I ain't got anything left that anyone else wants, so I can now count my frinds on one finger, and His name is Jesus. Of course, I never considered the others as friends anyway, just entertainment.
As I told you once Frank the only reason I had a job was because of greed and stupidity.
I'm here via Bayou Renaissance Man, and you are bookmarked. :)
It's the gossip I wish to address:
We retired from LA to live in the country on a 20-acre parcel. My closest neighbor breeds German shepherds and has a small "ranchette." Several years ago she passed on a piece of gossip to my husband-on a Friday night, after the County offices were closed. The story said that our house was sitting on the first twenty feet of this neighbor's property. (My husband had a heart attack in '95 at work, which is why we retired and moved.)
My husband, upon hearing the story, turned grey and I thought he was going to have a stroke! He knew that we did not have an extra $20K to move the house.
The entire story was bogus. I have not spoken to this gossip since. Gossip is lethal!
Enjoy your MDs.
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